When you think nothing can go wrong, everything goes wrong… I’m beginning to think being heartbroken is my ‘thing’. Perhaps I should stop falling for guys who doesn’t deserv me…

What was the font for Avanoo logo again? Would anyone have it in vector format? J/Cyg?

A boat will soon be branded with “Avanoo Spirit”!

It’s the year 2012 – the end of the Mayan calendar… and the world. A few enterprising souls intend to profit from the end of times by staging the Resurrection Tour. Raised from the dead, Hendrix and the out-of-body Experience will headline. Jim Morrison is expected to perform Rider’s on the Storm while the angels sing. And Lennon and Jesus will go head-to-head in a popularity contest, with fans voting by text.

So that’s my six-word story of the day.

At the conference I just returned from, lovely Rachel Bagby taught us a form of poetry called “The Way of Ten”, which she invented in 1980. A “ten” is constructed like so:

Line 1: Two syllables
Line 2: Three syllables
Line 3: Five syllables

This makes a total of ten syllables.

An example:

At times
It takes a
Group to find the poop.

This ten came to me when I helped to locate a pile of deer poop for a practical joke.

So… the ever-popular six-word story now has a ten-syllable friend!

It feels broken.

Like it was running along just fine, hitting milestones, seemingly impervious to anything that might have come in its way, when all of a sudden a slight crack, a hidden crack, a crack that unknown to me had been caulked over and not mentioned when I took out this lease, expanded until it finally caused the rest to fall apart, taking other pieces with it.

It’s not that it’s unfixable. At least, I don’t know if it’s unfixable. I’m still rubbing my ass from the fall and taking stock of the situation, where I am, where I thought I was going. Which pieces are unaffected and which will need rebuilding. Or an attempt at rebuilding.  It was somewhat of a shock.

Do I have the right tools? I’ve collected more than my fair share in my time, but some of them seem to be proprietary, for models other than the one in front of me. Maybe more than I thought. And the more I look at the broken pieces, the more I’m realizing they don’t fit the tools I do have quite right. It’s almost as if the break intentionally avoided convention, like I shouldn’t even have the option to fix it like I would want to. Like its making sure I would have to take it back to the dealer, where I would have to confront all the other shiny new options as I decided how much of an investment to pour into the one I currently have.

The one that I don’t even know is fixable. The one that were it not for this crack, this collapse, would be perfect. The one that I want.

Of course I have to try to fix it. And I have to hope that as I start trying to put back the pieces, they turn out to be more malleable than how they appear. Because I don’t want a quick fix. I don’t want to sloppily patch it all up, leaving the same problems or worse in place, and then find my frustration increasing, my bruises growing as pieces fall off and I continually have to put them back on.

The real problem, the real thing that I’m afraid of, is that even if I put it back together as best that I can, will I ever be able to let go of the sense that it could fall apart again at any minute? Can I ever be truly, completely, 100% comfortable in it? Especially if in fixing it I have to fundamentally alter the structure in a way that I’m not sure if I’m comfortable yet?

I know that wishing it were all different is useless and something I need to stop. But it sure isn’t easy.

One of the things I do in my job (a school library) is a magazine. It is really handmade, and takes long, although I’m getting faster with practice. This gives me the opportunity to play to be journalist and to write articles about, for example, the International Year of Gorillas (which is this one, did you know?) and other staff. That’s because we haven’t received many students’ contributions yet. Last year we had many stories, book reviews and puzzles made by children, but you have to ask them personally, otherwise they forget. I really hope they will come with something, or I’ll have to continue inventing interviews to pencils and shelfmarkers. Because I don’t have the guts to make all the twins get together and ask them how they feel with their “condition”. Which, in my humble opinion, is a great idea, because there are many twins and triplets in the school, and having their photos in the magazine would definitely bring their attention! Would I be the only one  interested in that kind of topics? When children come to the computer to check out their books, I have to ask them their surname. The computer displays the list of students with the same surname. If they share two surnames, I know I have siblings there. And then it fascinates me to realize how similar brothers and sisters can be. So I start relating faces to names, surnames and other faces.

By the way, you notice we’ve entered winter time when over 30 children spend their breaks in the library. They drive me crazy.

Have I mentioned I enjoy my job – most of the times?

This is a cute poem I found and used, by Margaret Mahy:

George’s Pet

When George and his gorilla

go bounding by the street,

they get respectful nods and smiles

from neighbours that they meet.

If George had owned a puppy dog,

or else a kitty-cat,

his neighbours wouldn’t notice him

with courtesy like that

By the way, it has occurred to me that if any of you knows or is a child and wants to write a book review or SOMETHING for “my” magazine, it would be great!

All depth is between the lines.

we shine like mirrors
lightly tracing shadows

(twirl and quick take one last look before)

step step tests the waters
as heartbeats ponderously rush to the side of (our) ships
to meet –

race to the edge and peer
and do you see what I see?

yesno
check one (for both)
and smile so I know (for sure)

Despair is an odd sort of emotion that comes about when you start to believe that someone else is completely right when they say something along the lines of “No”. It cripples you, and laughs in your face, and then prances on your frown, deepening it with each passing moment. And every now and then we begin to believe that Despair has it all right. Except ‘every now and then’ becomes more ‘now’ than ‘then’, and the longer Despair dances, the deeper and more permanent your frown.

What I want to ask is… why? Why do we let Despair get the best of us?

Perhaps it’s because the longer it dances, the easier it is to sit there and try and rest. Perhaps.

But I think that it’s in those very moments that it is best for us to see Despair for the thing that it is– it is a silly, laughing dancing thing that prances around. It is so, so, silly!

And when you have a dream — a real dream — that you want more than anything to bring to life…

why are you going to listen to a silly little thing like that? Especially when you’ve got another voice that you can listen to — sorry for not talking about it until now — that is bright ,and warm, and makes you feel as though you are barely beginning to wake up in the morning. Lets you see glimmers of sunlight and coaxes you to open your eyes up just a little bit more. Just a little bit more. Wouldn’t you rather listen to that?

Yes, indeed. Listen to Hope.

It will get you where you need to be, every time.

“I can remember last summer when Mom was telling you that you couldn’t do it. That you had some magical picture in your head and it wasn’t going to happen.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. But then it did happen.”

“Yeah.”

It’s little things like that.. that make my day. But it’s little things like this:

“Well why do you want to act so badly?”

“Because I know I’d be so good at it, and I mean, I don’t even need that much money, and I could just give all of the extra money to people who need it. Like Haiti!”

… That remind me what I need to do.

It’s funny because she thinks that because I’m the older sister I’m the one who knows better. But she’s not the one who’s afraid to do what she knows she’s really good at doing.

I keep thinking I have to go the long route. I keep thinking I’ve got to study things and know things… When I don’t. I think that because creative classes are ridiculously easy for me, I shouldn’t be in them. But it is people who say things like…

“If it’s easy for you that’s the best indicator that it’s what you should be doing”

… that remind me that I’m being silly, trying to walk through the brush and climb over a fence that I cannot possibly pull myself up over. When if I am willing to go through a bit of branches and scrapes, there is a straight and easy pathway right there. Yes, maybe it’s not near people I’m currently walking with. Yes, maybe it looks a little silly to other people. And a little crazy.

But, yes…. the reality of it is…. it’s the only thing that makes sense. And even if I don’t know how it’s going to work out…

I’d much rather walk by faith… than by fear.

It’s amazing how my perception of easiness of life varies so rapidly. At work, for example, I can feel overwhelmed by piles of books and lines of children that and who keep me away from other tasks, and the next moment I barely know what to do. With school it happens that I don’t realize till the end that I really have to study. Then I get stressed, followed by a “oh, it isn’t that much”.

I have really lost my train of thought here.

I was frustrated because I don’t like my new Italian teacher. I think he doesn’t know anything of what he’s supposedly teaching us. I should know a lot more of Italian. Dovrei essere fluent. There it is, the word I can’t say in Italian. In a single, three-words-sentence!

Is this Sunday Mother Day everywhere? Is that previous sentence correct? Too many doubts.

I don’t want to go over the same topics again and again (even in my mind). But… it’s already month five. I should have graduated by now. But I haven’t because I haven’t spend the necessary time working at it. And I go early to school, so I have to waste time in the yard, listening to the birds, looking at people, reading. It would be almost perfect if it weren’t for the guilt.

I keep reading a lot. Fantastic books for children and not only.

I’m trying to drink 2ltrs of water daily. But I never reach that.

I’m drinking less milk. That’s bad.

I’m donating books every now and then.

I’m learning the students’ names, so that I can see their faces when they discover I’ve learned them. “How do you know my name?”

I thought I could post here.

Every subsequent visit to a place of religious importance strengthens my disconnect with the religious God, and adds to my previous level of skepticism. There is nothing wrong with “Hazrat Khwaja Moinuddin Hasan Chisty” of Ajmer, except that he seems to be surrounded by those very people who would have stayed miles away from him during his days of faith/spiritual conquests.

Enter The Shrine Of Miracles

Hearsay has it that this shrine is known for its history of having miraculously granted one wish to anyone who asks with complete faith, and unconditional  surrender to God. Gharibnawaz, the Khwaja, is also known to have performed miracles like being present in Ajmer and Mecca (India & Saudi Arabia) at the same time, resurrecting a dead boy killed for no fault of his, converting a murderer to a saint etc.

Khwaja Moinuddin Hasan Chisty

But then who is this guy, dressed in white pathan suit, head covered with a green topi, claiming to be a part of the dargah volunteers, forcing his services on me (while I am here for what could easily be classified as a leisure visit), just because I look decently well to do, while there are hundreds of poor hapless people, visiting the dargah genuinly expecting a miracle? Inspite of my repeated requests, the guy refuses to part ways and begins to shift gears from, “Ghareebnawaz tumhe barkat dega!” (Ghareebnawaz will bring you prosperity!) to utter nonsense like, “Ghareebnawaz tumhari neeyat dekh raha hai! Baddua lagegi!” (Ghareebnawaz can see your malintent, you will be cursed!).

Apart from laughing it off, I decided to do some photography. Now, these images will make it clear to you as to how many people were there and how many of them needed “services of volunteers”.

The Skyline

The Beeline

There was this group of harmless young men, sitting outside the dargah, chatting up about why a job that involves travel is a much better job than the one they do currently. There was an earnestness in their eyes, when they appreciated my having a job that involves travel. They were good people. But I didn’t see any unconditional surrender to God.

Conversations on the job

The best thing I feel, about shrines and sufism in general, is the music form called kawwali. Its mesmerising and energising, yet peaceful. Have a taste of it from one of the bollywood numbers.

Khwaja Mere Khwaja – A.R.Rahman

I hear that nowadays, relationships end far quicker and with a certain sprinkle on nonchalance.

I do not agree that this is something that came over us NOW. Is it possible that relationships always followed this pattern? As in, does a yesteryear marriage whereby a couple does not physically separate, but lives in constant hell, signify a better relationship?

I am being tested a lot lately. I am experiencing a personal situation which further convinces me of this above logic.  Can a union between two people happen because of the wrong reasons? False beliefs? False expectations?

We may have a lot of time. A lot of distractions in our relationship(s). However, one bloody day might come when all our castles MAY shatter and there will only be bad tastes in our mouth. All that we sought may have been obtained. Or not. But was it a good thing to be together in the first place?

I wonder.

Peace

Here it is fellow bloggers : the book has been officially released!

http://avanoo.files.wordpress.com/2009/04/coutre-courant.pdf

I hope you’ll enjoy it, I tried my best to stay as simple as possible if you’re a novice in photography. Any feedbacks are more than welcome, of course. This book has originally been made for you; however a friend from the netherland may actually use some of the words here in her magazine… but that’s hush-hush information

hope you’re all well.

yours truly, Mike

“Unclutter your life,” he said,
and she said, “You know, I’m not that religious”
and he stared at her a moment and then replied
“Yes, but you are forgetful.”

“Countercurrent”, in English.

Well, I said that I wanted to write a little something about photography a couple of weeks ago, and, well, it happens to be a 52 pages e-book. I did it in 5 days and a friend is currently reviewing it… I’ll post a copy here for it was originally meant for you guys

at least I hope I can post a copy here… if I can’t, a fellow photographer gave me some websites where I can host it.

I don’t have much more to say about it. I simply hope to post it here soon.

I tried not to get too technical and each time tried to explain everything the easiest way possible … you can ask me just about anything; from technical stuff to who is the pretty lady on the picture. I’m free to answer to almost anything.

Hope you’re fine & dandy.

or fine and in the vicinity of dandyhood.

cya round guys!

Bombshell Billy has paid a visit. But “Bombshell Billy” isn’t a person, it’s just the result of an “Edisonian”-moment after which I am suddenly able to see past my reasoning for X and Y, and see the actual core of my more recent thinking. One could say that “Bombshell Billy” in a quirky kind of way is a state of mind…sort of.

Since my last post I have continued to feel a very strong urge to carry on with the clearing and de-cluttering. I have moved on from clearing and giving away stuff I don’t use, to start giving away stuff I actually have use for but which I know will be excessive bringing across the pond, i.e. it will have to go eventually anyway. So, an excellent opportunity to practise “letting go”! At first I found myself lurking the aisle of the procrastination section as I thought, “Naah, I can pack this when I move and give it to my friend then…”. You see, some of my things I imagine myself being “too attached to” to just give to charity. Duh!! Procrastination…again! No-sir-eeee! No more nonsense!

So, the tableware I wish to give to my friend has now been packed. And I haven’t been starving or been forced to eating from the floor either as a result of this “bold” decision. I’ve just used different plates. The one’s I don’t have quite as many of… One kitchen cupboard is now empty while others have empty shelves in them. It’s a peculiar but nice feeling seeing all that “space”.

But now that my cupboards are getting more and more empty, the question beckons, “what to do with the furniture?”. Thinking about this in the past has had me create a list in my mind of “furniture to keep”, “furniture to give to friends” and “furniture to give to charity”. And it has been fairly easy to place each item where it “belongs”. Yesterday I was on the phone with a friend and I was telling her of my more recent “urges to purge”. She just said, “But it is obvious you need to get rid of as much as possible as you are moving towards a clean break. Looking at what has happened….”, and she continued to recap stuff from earlier discussions and conversations. Huh?! Aaaahhhh… While on the phone with her I was given the chance to consider what it would feel like if I were to give away the few pieces of furniture that I value the most. And by “value” I don’t mean in monetary terms, but “personal value”. I found myself saying, “..well, I could give away something other than A and B…”. Upon which my friend responded saying, “What’s the point in doing that?! You will still be facing the lesson in letting go of something you perceive as valuable.”. Hhmmm.

Suddenly my whole being felt intense discomfort, “..giving away all my furniture?!?. That would mean I’m homeless!”. Eh?!!! Note that last sentence. Where did that come from? Why homeless? Why the panicky feeling? What do I mean by “homeless”? Strictly speaking, having furniture doesn’t mean I have a home, does it?!

I have in the recent past half jokingly said that I would like to get to a point where all my belongings fit in my car. OK, it would have to be a slightly bigger car than a Peugeot 306, but you get my drift. And yesterday, having that conversation with my friend brought home to me how terrified I have been of actually giving up my furniture as that represents “stability” (and I won’t go in to the reasons for that). But also, what would the world (and myself) think of me were I to give everything up…? Well, hello..! Why does it suddenly matter what others think? And why in heavens name do I have to hold on to some old pieces of furniture…?!?

So, right now I’m getting used to the idea of letting go of all my furniture when I move. I feel a lot better about it today so this too will pass.

As a result of the above I was thinking this morning that I’ve started to “bow and conquer”. But not as in “take cover-bow”. It’s rather a humble bow. And not conquer as in “divide and conquer” but “overcome-conquer.” I like that thought…

Onwards and Upwards…

Been out on a course learning to survive in the jungle and as that finished, decided to go off for the weekend to a place called Mcleodganj (where the Dalai Lama resides). Went off alone and it was my first unplanned solitary trip. So here goes, straight from my journal:

“
12/04/09 00:10:15

In McLeodGanj and having a ball of a time. My first trip of sorts alone and its been quite cool. Was worried a little about finding lodging but managed quite well. Asked a foreigner and he guided me to this nice place right in the town. Cheap and nice too. Been a gastronomically delightful experience. Hogging like a well… hog and enjoying it. Shopped quite a bit, Tibetan artifacts and T-shirts. Chatted with a few people randomly. This Kazakhistani chick thought that I was a Nepali (not the first person though). Later talked to this guy during dinner while he waited for his friend to arrive. Generally of this and that. He was working with some NGO and wrote on non-western philosophy and well-being and stuff. Dinner was with this Welsh fellow called Leo and we chatted of books, TV shows, movies and systems (government and people working for others). Walked a little before returning for some bedtime… Watched “How I met your mother” 2 episodes… Yawn.. Goodnight.

Food log:
Chocolate Cookie
Chicken Fry
Mutton Shebabkleb + Chicken Thukpa

12 Apr 09

Woke up nice and early (0600h) and walked to the church (St. John’s in the wilderness). The service was to start at 0900h and I met the guy who was cleaning up. The gates being closed, he didn’t allow me to come in, though I managed to get a peek at the stained glass windows and whatever I could see through the grill, and this was despite offering to help the guy clean the place. Later two couples from Delhi joined me at the Church and I took some pictures for them.

After that I walked to McLeod where I decided to take my first mini breakfast. Sat drinking coffee and eating chocolate cake with chocolate syrup. This Polish lady, who was studying Tibetan, and I had a discussion on Buddhism, philosophy etc. When I went up to the Palace, I saw people waiting for the Dalai Lama who was on his way to Norbu Linka to inaugurate some new temple. The Palace was really pleasant. I prostrated and prayed for a while, thinking of various aspects of my personal philosophy and the contradictions. Hit upon a one word answer to all of my questions/problems – “Peace”. After all, that’s how I felt most of the time in McLeodganj. Completely at peace, happy, confident and full of life (and food, to be honest).

Then on to Bhagshu. Nice walk to the place. Decided to postpone my breakfast at the German Bakery to after visiting the waterfall. Picked up a double chocolate cookie nevertheless. The waterfall was crowded and I would’ve liked it probably if I’d had it all to myself. Otherwise it seemed too commercial and crass. The walk up to the waterfall was steep at times and I enjoyed almost running up the stairs.

Returned to the aforementioned bakery and ordered a nice heavy breakfast consisting of lemon tea, brown bread with jam and butter, baked beans, mashed potatoes and an omlette with two eggs and stuffed with some potato. Excellent stuff. Got chatting with this Israeli fellow, Isaac. He was stduying yoga in India and was quite interesting, having learn accupuncture, Tai Chi in China and here he was doing yoga. Had interesting observations about India, especially about our treatment of women, politics, disinterest in Yoga etc. We also included a Slovenian film-maker (who studied economics), Yelena, in our talks. She was studying Ayurveda while her boyfriend studied something else. We did discuss Karma, predestination and self-control and my take on the philosophy of it all. A long long chat which went on for more than an hour.

13 Apr 09 (continued)

I returned to my hotel room and checked out and then walked to Nick’s Kitchen where I was meeting Leo for lunch. Being early, I walked some more and these guys were sitting by the road playing the guitar. I asked to join them and after some time played and sang some. The music session was pretty cool and I left at 1340h to meet Leo who was waiting at the kitchen. Anyway, he was planning to leave and so I went back to the musicians and we all changed locations to the rooftop of a French Cafe. Ordered a chocolate croissant and a cold coffee and then the jam session started. ‘Twas pretty cool and I sang Dooba x2 (a hindi song) while the Nepali guitarist (Rohan) played. This Israeli chappie, Donahue (was that his name?) also played some. In a while, one of Rohan’s friends came in and played the flute and jammed with Rohan (who was on his guitar). That was really cool and I managed to record it on my laptop. I forced myself to leave the group at 1445h, picked up my luggage and walked down to Norlings’ for some momos (finally). Reached the bus-stop and met this french couple who were to travel in the same bus. These guys, Camille (Teixeira) and Jeremy (Lesquelen) were making a documentary on Genetically Modified food and were a very cute couple. Chatted with them in the best french I could manage and tried to impress them with my knowledge of France, Tintin, Asterix, Camus, Pantagruel, Maupassant etc. Leo (leo.ush@hotmail.com) walked in after while and then there was this Pune-ite, Jeevan (working with Linux) who joined the group. The bus journey was long and poor Camille was worried that she’d be sick. I was surprised, nay shocked, that they managed a 40 hour bus ordeal from Delhi to Kathmandu. Talked on in the bus. Also sang English, French and Bengali (that was me, I confess) songs/nursery rhymes. Leo showed off his knowledge of the vernacular especially with the non-parliamentary parts. I shocked the french couple with some horribly bad french abuses. At Pathankot I felt the locals seemed intent on cheating this poor couple and I found a cheap hotel for them and somewhat correctly priced autos to the place. They offered me some money for the auto-ride but I politely declined. Then I found my way to the sweet shop, ‘Benares de Hatti’, for some ‘Palangtod’ (a sweetcake) following which I went to the Air Force Station where I collected my luggage and then stayed at the TD room.

14/04/09 00:51:16

Today, in the morning I packed my bags and this junior of mine (Shubhanshu Shukla) and I reached the airport by 0915 for the 1030h flight. Saw a Brit couple and got pally with them. Tammy (Shears) and Josh-uwarr (Watkins) were travelling in Dharamshala, having seen Agra, Amritsar and Delhi. Now they were going off to Australia where they planned to stay for the next 8-9 months. Josh is a sound engineer and was a bass guitarist for quite a few rock bands, one of which, “The Sixty Watt Club” sounded quite neat (he had the songs on his player). Tammy on the other hand was even more fascinating. She was managing a pub which she left for this year-long holoiday. She grew up on the farm where they had load of dogs, chickens, a pony etc. She was also trained in some art etc. and had some circus experience. A gymnast, she performed on the trapeze. Very cool. Josh was soft-spoken and we really enjoyed talking of music and Tammy was ‘bindass’, outspoken and ‘fundoo’. Our flight was delayed and so I showed them the Pixar shorts, Fry and Laurie, pics etc. to help pass the time. A lab walked in with his handlers for a while and I got pally with it, the colossal fellow licking and wagging its tail. The flight was uneventful and we finally landed at about 1600h and I thus finished my solo trip.
“

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=242180&id=898340586&l=b7e8d2ddb5

Clearing and de-cluttering has been a companion of mine for a while now. My plans to move had me plan most of it in my head though so as to be prepared for when it actually happened. “It wouldn’t take long to pack the stuff up and give the rest away”, has been my motto for a while. Procrastination at its finest….

At the beginning of last month it was clear that my upcoming move had to be postponed. In the past when something I had “planned” would fall through, or not pan out the way I expected it to, I would deflate completely. But this time that didn’t happen. I felt totally calm about it. I reckon an even better set-up will materialize when the time is right. OK, I had been looking forward to spending the summer in CA…but never mind. Besides, maybe the summer in the UK will turn out fabulous. Who knows…

Round about the same time that I found out about my delayed relocation, I got the opportunity to start working from home fulltime. And as of last week that is now reality. It’s great. I love it!!

And at the same time, as a result of my relocation plans (although slightly delayed),  I have given up my second job. Suddenly I have spare time! The first week I spent the evenings on the couch, vegging out, enjoying having the evening off. It was heaven! And it soon became clear how exhausted I was from having worked myself silly over the past year.

And then it hit me. With force. Time to do something about that de-cluttering, and start clearing.

I spent three days packing and sorting that which I would give to charity. I had decided to be very firm and base my decision on “do I want to bring this across the Atlantic?”. To be honest, most things didn’t pass that inspection… My mother asked with a concerned voice if I was about to give it all away. I could ease her worry, I still have stuff left but a lot less than before! On the third day I felt nudged to start packing the things I had kept. Even take down my pictures and get rid of the picture frames. How weird is that!?! My walls now look empty but I’m getting used to it.

The past few days I have been nudged repeatedly to continue with the packing. I have no idea what is in store, what the pipeline has up its sleeve, but I’m happy to do it. I trust my gut-feeling. I know I’m making space for something, either where I currently live or in preparation for my move.

Upon returning from Sweden and the Easter break I felt strongly that I had closed a door and started to open a new one. I wonder what is on the other side?

Was it in like December or something that I wrote about getting a ‘feeling’ that I’m not going to go to vet school in the autumn?! It must have been around then anyway… Since then I’ve repeatedly been getting small ’signs’ and ’hunches’ about the same thing, as well as doing a lot of thinking about if that’s really what I want to do. One of the last things to happen is that I didn’t do well enough on a test that I need to do really well on in order to even have a chance of getting in. It really set me back at first, but in a way I think I also felt relieved, that I was now being ‘forced’ to once again really think about what I want to do. I was feeling really low for a few days, like my whole life was out of place and unhappy with just about everything. Then I begun to look at what programmes there are out there, I mean there are so much to choose between, and unless you look you won’t know about hardly any. And without knowing what I was searching for I found exactly what I was searching for and it just feels so right! So unless a whole bunch of people with better results than me have applied for the same thing, I will be moving west in August to start a bachelors programme in ethology and animal welfare. Compared to the statistics I should get in with the results I have, but concidering the fact that there’s about 30 000 more people applying for programmes and courses this autumn compared to how many usually applies, there’s a small risk I won’t… But I’m sure I will!